Center of Reproductology / Blog / “Despite everything, there was always hope in my soul”

“Despite everything, there was always hope in my soul”

44 years, 11 (!) unsuccessful IVF attempts, and finally, the 12th one is happy. Our patient A, a sincere, purposeful, strong woman, proved by her example that an all-consuming desire to become a mother can convince even heaven.

– Tell us why you chose Ukraine to fulfill your most cherished dream?

– We had our first IVF attempt in Turkey (my husband is a Turk) – but it was unsuccessful. Then – in Iran and in Ukraine. A lot of women from Turkmenistan came here, and some treatment helped. And our city is small, information spreads quickly, so my husband and I decided to go to Ukraine.

– How did you find out about ISIDA?

– Completely by accident. We were going to another clinic, to another doctor. But I have a friend living in Kiev – she told me a story about her friend who couldn’t get pregnant and turned to ISIDA. To be honest, I didn’t attach much importance to this, since I already had a plan: I knew where and to whom I was going. However, a friend convinced me to go to a consultation just in case. Practically forced my husband and me! I called, signed up and went. I remember eating and thinking: how far is this clinic! Then we went in, talked to the doctor, and when we left the office, I said: “That’s it, I’m not going anywhere else.”

– And what happened before that?

– We have been treated in another Ukrainian clinic for 6 years. And only now I understand how bad it was for me there and how much I was deceived there. This concerns both the attitude of the staff and the cost of services – we just went broke there. The procedures were three times more expensive than in ISIDA! And all attempts were unsuccessful… When I went there to get the documents, they were glad to see me – they thought that I would do IVF again. The most insulting thing is when you look at the staff in every hospital as if they were gods: I’m sure everything depends on them – and in response they just don’t pay attention to you. I am not surprised that many women experience depression during pregnancy.

– Share what you liked about ISIDA?

– Everything is different here! You come in, and already at the reception you are greeted with a smile. Everyone is so friendly – like family! Besides, in ISIDA everything is according to the law: you clearly understand what your money is going for. The attitude of the staff to the patient is simply indescribable! I have never seen such a thing anywhere – neither in Turkey nor in Iran. Everyone, from nurses to head doctors, are professionals in their field. It was only because of the atmosphere, the relationship that it was possible to come here. Although regular flights were not easy (financial expenses, obtaining visas, lack of direct flights), but I knew for sure: I would do this program exclusively here.

– Did everything work out the first time?

– I won’t hide it: the first attempt was unsuccessful. After it, I was treated for three months, and then tried again. By the way, in another clinic the body was not even given time to rest – the attempts were one after another. After the first failure in ISIDA (and the 11th in total difficulty), I didn’t want anything anymore – I was so exhausted both mentally and physically… Failure again… Every time I endured it terribly, it was empty inside.

– What prompted you to make a second attempt at ISIDA?

– I decided on the 12th attempt solely thanks to the people who work here. But she promised herself that there would be no more IVF. And she told her spouse: “I swear to you before God, this is the last attempt.” I even started planning my future life: I thought if it didn’t work out this time, my husband and I would break up, because our relationship was hanging by a thread after all these trials. I have already come to terms with this, I decided to adopt a child and raise him on my own. After all, you will not rise above God – well, we are not destined to have children, what can I do about it! Pessimistic sentiments prevailed… All these years I believed in a positive result, constantly thinking: this time it will definitely work! Every failed attempt was a bigger blow for me. And depression again…

– Have you been given any forecasts?

– In ISIDA, it is not customary to take on something that will not work. Here they talk to you honestly and frankly. Everyone I sent to this clinic – and this is about seven couples – is very happy, because patients are openly told about the prognosis. I don’t have enough words to express how I feel about ISIDA! There are excellent specialists here who do not deceive their patients, strong moral support, and a sincere attitude. After ISIDA, it is very difficult for me to go to another clinic. I even came here to give birth, although it was not easy.

– Do you remember how you found out the result?

– Of course! I donated blood, there was supposed to be a result in the afternoon. The doctor and I agreed: if nothing works out, they won’t even call me. I was already 100% ready for a negative answer. And so my husband and I leave the store – the bell. Earlier than expected. And in the tube the long-awaited: “Well, I congratulate you!”. There are people around on the street, I can’t scream or cry, I look at my husband – we both have tears in our eyes. Tears of joy!

– But didn’t you feel that you were pregnant?

– I didn’t feel anything – absolutely. All previous attempts, I inspired myself with a positive result and as a result, I seemed to feel all the signs of pregnancy. I was so sure that I could convince my spouse! And this time – nothing.

– After the good news, did you still stay in Ukraine or did you immediately go home?

– I stayed in Kiev for another month. Then she left, but regularly flew to ISIDA for consultations. I spent the whole pregnancy here because I didn’t trust anyone else.

– Did the pregnancy meet your expectations? Surely you have imagined for many years in detail how it will be?

– Physically, I felt very bad. At first, the most terrible toxicosis – I lost 9 kilograms, often lay under droppers, I couldn’t even drink water. Then other problems began. Throughout my pregnancy, I took medications and was under observation. But this, believe me, did not overshadow my life at all. I felt so great internally that I didn’t lie down at all – I cleaned, walked, was very active. On the one hand, I seemed to need to be afraid – to lie down and not move. But I, on the contrary, felt bad without moving.

– How did you manage not to lose hope after so many unsuccessful attempts?

– Probably, somewhere inside I always felt: it can’t be that I didn’t have a child. But it’s hard to even remember my condition. Every unsuccessful attempt is the strongest stress, and it is almost impossible to overcome it without the help of professionals. I had terrible thoughts. I didn’t want to live. God forbid anyone to experience what I felt then. Nothing and no one helped – neither friends nor relatives. I have had such a difficult state of mind for many years. I didn’t see my future without a child. And I am sure: you should never despair. Sometimes, when I suddenly think how old I am! Am I really going to live my life without a child? But there was always hope in my soul…

– Now, on the threshold of change, what are your emotions, feelings, expectations?

– Tomorrow the operation (cesarean section) will take place. I’m very worried, I’m looking forward to meeting the baby. It’s very scary. I reassure myself that everyone is going through this, and that very soon I will finally see my baby!

– Are you planning to return home soon?

– In two or three weeks. They are already waiting for us there – and not only our loved ones, the whole house is waiting for us! We all know each other, and everyone is very friendly.

– Are you thinking about trying again and having a second child?

– Oh, I don’t know (laughs). If I were at least 40 years old, I wouldn’t even think about it – of course, I would try again. But it is very difficult to fly here, and the burden on health is great. Although, just in case, my egg is stored in ISIDA.

– Have you managed to get rid of your past condition?

– Of course! I’ll have other worries already. During the whole pregnancy, I did not understand what hormones, depression are. When some women tell me about it, it seems to me that they simply do not understand what happiness has befallen them!

3 kg 100 grams and 51 cm of happiness

Our patient gave birth to a healthy boy, with whom she safely flew home. A happy husband and wife, after many years of trials, finally feel great, despite the worries and fatigue. The heroine’s life, as she admits, has changed a lot. Now she has completely different concerns, and, leaving behind the difficulties and trials, happy, she entered a new period of her life.

Congratulations to the young parents!

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