“I was alive, but inside I died. I was 21 years old, and I knew what death was, I knew what it was like to outlive my own child.” – Bogdana Yarovaya recalls the most terrible period of her life. Now she is a happy mother of three sons, but not every woman can afford the price she paid for this happiness. Bogdana shared her difficult story on our blog:
“My story began a long time ago, 20 years ago. From a very young age, I wanted to have children. At the age of 21, I got married and my husband and I immediately decided to have a child. Everything worked out from the first month of planning.
Pregnancy was overshadowed by severe toxicosis, but I did not have the thought that pregnancy could end not with the birth of a child, but with something else. From the 6th to the 16th week of pregnancy, I was in the hospital and ate almost only intravenously. Somewhere from the 16th week it became a little easier for me, I was discharged from the hospital, I started eating myself. It would seem that the worst is over. “Only 2% of pregnant women have such toxicoses,” “Everything should be fine after that, you’ve been through this…”, the doctors told me. And indeed, it got better – I safely reached almost the 30th week.
One night I dreamed that I was holding a baby in my arms, and he was covered in blood. A couple of days after this dream in the morning, I noticed that the child did not move, he did not move during the day. I was taken to the hospital the same evening, but already with a temperature under forty. My boy, my son, died in utero. I started having sepsis. I don’t want to describe all the horrors that I went through with artificial childbirth, resuscitation, blood transfusion. I spent almost two weeks in intensive care. There was no fear of death at all. It seemed that I died with my child.
For the next two years I lived in hell. I divorced my first husband because I realized that with him I would never be able to forget what happened to me. But time passed, I remarried, and the biological clock at the age of 32 started ticking in my head very much. The desire to have a child overcame the fear of losing it. I got pregnant with Andrey.
And again, the same song with toxicosis, 20 weeks under ivs, a constant threat – first termination of pregnancy, and then premature birth. After a difficult pregnancy, childbirth seemed to me like a walk in the autumn forest. I was 32 years old and I firmly told myself: I won’t get pregnant anymore.
But time has passed, 33, 34, 35, 36….And at the age of 36, when little Andrew began to grow up, I wanted another child to the point of physical pain. Since I had no problems with conception, my husband and I started planning a pregnancy. But month after month passed, and there was no result. Another year passed, and eventually I decided to go to the reproductologists.
I knew the ISIDA clinic well – I was registered at ISIDA with Andrey. My friends with the help of reproductive technologies safely got pregnant and gave birth to children there. Therefore, the question of where exactly to go did not arise for me. But to which of the doctors? I studied all the forums and came to the conclusion that the most qualified reproductologist who takes on the most difficult situations is Khazhilenko Ksenia Georgievna.
On my first visit to Ksenia Georgievna, I came with a folder of tests, she told me that she did not see any problems with me. But she was confused by my anamnesis, she assumed that my problems with miscarriage were due to blood. And we started to figure it out. I do not want to describe the diagnoses, there is no sense in this, but Ksenia Georgievna did find out that the problems are with blood clotting.
I remember how I asked Ksenia Georgievna to plant two embryos and how she categorically refused. She called my husband, talked about the high risks due to age, as well as related blood problems, called an embryologist, and in the end did not let two people get hooked. Our walks began. Podsadka – pregnancy – miscarriage. Podsadka – pregnancy – miscarriage. Podsadka – pregnancy – miscarriage.
How many tears were shed… I do not want and cannot convey how with each miscarriage I relived the death of my first son. How I died with every miscarriage. And only the realization that there is an older son who needs me made me pull myself together. Ksenia Georgievna dissuaded me from experimenting further, advised me to engage in adoption. I would love to, but in our country it’s almost impossible.
So, I am 40 years old, and I decide that God knows best, this is my last attempt to get pregnant. I persuade Ksenia Georgievna that this is the last time. On the day of the transplant, Ksenia Georgievna came into the ward and asked me a completely strange question: “Do you mind if we hook up two? There is only a 5% chance that both of them will take root.” I was amazed, because the previous couple of years I had been trying to persuade her to put two people on, but she did not agree.
And so on the 5th day after planting, I do a test and see 2 strips. Even then it became clear that two had taken root. Ksenia Georgievna scolded herself for what had come over her. So a completely different pregnancy began. The doctors did everything possible to make it to 37 weeks, for which they are very grateful. On the day of the birth, Ksenia Georgievna was the first to fly into the intensive care unit and, seeing me in tears of happiness, said: “I’ve already seen the children, and stop crying! I’m going to start crying myself.”
Now, looking at my two kids, I can’t imagine how I have lived without them until now. And most importantly, when my boys were born, I let my first son go for the first time in 20 years. Released psychologically. We will meet someday, and he will always be in my heart anyway.
And now I am the happiest mother of three boys. Yes, I am more than sure that children are distributed in heaven, but the hands that gave me children from heaven were the hands of Xenia Georgievna. Girls, don’t give up, don’t lose hope! Never. Look for your doctor – and everything will work out for you. There will be a doctor through whose hands the long-awaited baby will be given to you from heaven.”
Please note that patients of the ISIDA clinic who are faced with the problem of miscarriage can receive qualified assistance in a specialized department of the clinic – the Center for the Treatment of Miscarriage. The colossal experience of our specialists, the use of advanced technologies and methods of treatment, as well as the belief in a successful result is what makes your long–awaited miracle appear, despite all forecasts and diagnoses.