“In spite of anything, there was always hope in my heart”
44 years old, 11 failed IVF attempts, and, at last, the 12th turned lucky. Our patient A is a sincere, purposeful, strong woman, by her example has shown that an overwhelming desire to become a mother can convince even the heavens.
- Tell me why you chose Ukraine to make your most cherished dream come true?
- The first IVF attempt we had in Turkey (my husband is Turk) was unsuccessful. Then Iran and Ukraine followed. A lot of women from Turkmenistan (I am originally from Turkmenistan) came here, and treatment helped some of them. And our town is not big; information spreads quickly, so my husband and I decided to go to Ukraine.
- How did you learn about ISIDA?
- Absolutely by accident. We were going to another hospital and another doctor. But in Kyiv, lives a good friend of mine and she told me a story about her friend who could not get pregnant and went to ISIDA. I, frankly, did not pay much attention to this, as I had already had a plan: I knew where and to whom I’m going to. However, my friend convinced me, just in case, to go get a consultation. She practically forced my husband and me! I called, signed up and went. I remember myself going there and thinking how far this clinic is! Then we entered, had a talk with a doctor, and when we left the office, I said: “That’s just it, I will not go anywhere else.”
- And what happened before that?
- We had been getting treatment in another Ukrainian clinic for 6 years. And only now I understand how bad I felt in there and how much they were deceiving me. This also applies to personal attitude and cost of services - we just went bankrupts there. Procedures were three times more expensive than in ISIDA! And all attempts were unsuccessful... When I came back there for the documents, they were glad to see me- they thought I would do IVF again. The most offensive is that when in every hospital you perceive personnel as gods: you are sure that everything depends on them, and, in return, you’re just being overlooked. No wonder that many women have depression during pregnancy.
- Can you share with us what you liked in ISIDA?
- It's different here! You come in, and, at the reception you are already greeted with a smile. Everyone is friendly, like family! In addition, all is under the law here in ISIDA: you are clearly aware of what your money is spent for. The attitude of personnel to a patient is simply indescribable! I’ve never seen this anywhere - either in Turkey or in Iran. Everyone, from nurse to a chief doctor, is a professional. For the atmosphere and attitude alone you could come here.
I had hard times with regular flights, though (financial costs, visas, lack of direct flights), yet I knew for sure: I would do this program exclusively here.
- Did that work out well from the first attempt?
- I won’t conceal it: the first attempt failed. After it, they treated me for three months and then tried again. By the way, in the another clinic, they did not even give my body the time to have a rest - attempts were carried out in a row. After the first failure in ISIDA (11th in general) I did not want anything anymore, I was so exhausted both morally and physically... Failure, again... Each time I endured it all terribly, I was emptied inside.
- What in particular prompted you to the second attempt in ISIDA?
- I decided to try the 12th attempt exclusively due to the people who work here. But I promised myself that there would never be any IVF - ever. And I said to my husband: “I swear to you before God, this is the last attempt.” I even began to plan my future life: I thought if it fails this time, we will part ways with my husband because our relationship after all these trials was held in the balance. I also came to terms with it and decided to adopt a child and raise it myself. After all, one cannot ascend above God - well, we are not destined to have children, what can I do about it! Pessimism was prevailing... All these years I believed in a positive result, constantly thinking: this time it will happen! Each unsuccessful attempt was a real shock for me, growing bigger with each time. Again, depression...
- Weren’t you given any prognoses?
- ISIDA doesn’t give promises that can’t be achieved. Here they have an honest and open talk with you. All those whom I sent to this clinic, and these are about seven couples, are very satisfied because the patients receive clear prognoses. I do not have enough words to describe what I feel for ISIDA! Here you meet wonderful professionals who do not deceive their patients; you get strong moral support, warm-hearted and sincere attitude. After ISIDA, it is very difficult for me to go to another clinic. I even came here to give birth, although it was not easy.
- Do you remember the moment you learned the result?
- Of course! I underwent a blood test, and in the afternoon I was supposed to get the result. We agreed with our doctor: if it does not work - I will not even receive a call. I was 100% ready for the negative answer. So, my husband and I were on our way out of a store, when a phone call sounded. Earlier, than it was expected. And the long-awaited phrase in handset: “Well, my congratulations!”. People walking around the street, I can neither scream nor cry, I look at my husband - both of us had tears in our eyes. Tears of happiness!
- But didn’t you feel you were pregnant?
- I felt nothing at all - absolutely. In all previous attempts I was ingraining myself a positive result and as if felt all signs of pregnancy. I was so confident that I could even convince my husband! And at that time – there was nothing.
- After a good news did you stay in Ukraine for a while or left back home at once?
- I was staying in Kiev for one more month. Then I left, but I regularly flew back to ISIDA for consultations. Throughout the pregnancy, I was followed up here, because I trusted no one else.
- Did pregnancy meet your expectations? Surely for many years you imagined in detail how it all was going to happen?
- Physically, I felt very bad. First, the horrible toxicosis - I lost 9 kilograms, often was lying under the drippers, I couldn’t even drink water. Then other problems started. Throughout the pregnancy, I took drugs and was followed up. But, believe me, it didn’t cloud my life. I felt so well inside that I couldn’t lie at all – was cleaning, walking, was living a very active life. On the one hand, as if I had to be afraid – to lie without movement. But, on the contrary, I felt bad without movement.
- How did you manage not to lose hope after so many failed attempts?
- Probably, somewhere inside I always felt: it cannot be that I can’t have a child. But it’s hard even to recollect erstwhile condition. Each unsuccessful attempt is a great stress, and to overcome it without help of professionals is practically impossible. Horrible thoughts visited me. I did not want to live. God forbid someone going through what I felt back then. Nothing and no one could help me - either friends or relatives. I had this heavy state of mind for many years. I couldn’t see my future without a child. And I’m sure: never give in to despair. Sometimes, I can suddenly recall how old I am! Am I really going to live my life without a child? But there was always hope in my heart...
- Now, on the threshold of changes, what emotions, feelings and expectations do you have?
- Tomorrow I will go through operation (cesarean section). I’m very nervous and looking forward to meeting my baby. It’s very scary. I calm myself down with thoughts that everyone passes through it, and that very soon I’ll finally see my baby!
- When are you planning to return home?
- In two or three weeks. Everyone is already waiting for us, and not just relatives, but the whole house community! We all know each other, and all are very friendly.
- Don’t you think about trying a second child?
- Oh, I do not know (laughs). If I were at least 40, I wouldn’t even doubt it, surely would have tried again. But it’s very difficult to fly here, and the health burden is great. ISIDA, though, keeps my oocyte, just in case.
- Have you managed to get rid of the previous state?
- Of course! I will have other worries. Throughout the pregnancy, I came to understanding what hormones and depression are. When some women tell me about it, it seems to me that they simply do not comprehend what a good fortune befell on them!
3,1 kg and 51 cm of happiness
Our patient gave birth to a healthy boy, with whom she successfully went back home. Happy husband and wife, after many years of testing, finally feel well, despite emotions and exhaustion. Her`s life has changed dramatically, from the words of heroine herself. Now she has completely different concerns, and leaving behind all difficulties and trials, she has entered a new period of her life with joy.
Our congratulations to the new parents!